Urdu Islamic Aqwal Zareen from Quran

Urdu Islamic Aqwal Zareen from Quran

Maghrib Mai Islami Ki Maqbooliat

Maghrib Mai Islami Ki Maqbooliat

Sirf Allah Ko Pukaro Quranic verse

Sirf Allah Ko Pukaro Quranic verse

Namaz ke sharait or faraiz

The Rightly Guided Khalifahs- Hazrat Usman ibn Affan (R.A.)

The Rightly Guided Khalifahs- Hazrat Usman ibn Affan (R.A.)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Asalamualaykum,

 I was planning to give you information on the first four Rightly Guided Khalifah’s, so now I shall continue  with the third  Khalifa Hazrat Usman (R.A.) . Hazrat Usman (R.A.) was born in Makkah, he was also related to our Prophet (S.A.W.) through their great grandfather Abd Manaf. He belonged to the Ummayad tribe of Quraysh, he was also the first to accept Islam from the Ummayads. He was one of the rich merchants of Makkah & even in the days of ignorance he lead a very clean & virtuous life. Hazrat Usman was a wealthy trader and helped poor Muslims and released many of the Muslim slaves from their pagan masters.

Hazrat Usman embraced Islam at the suggestion of Hazrat Abu Bakr but, when his family heard of his reversion his uncle tied him in ropes and beat him, thus he was one of those Muslims who had to suffer persecution, degradation and humiliation at the hands of the pagans of Makkah.

Hazrat Usman (R.A.) and his wife Ruqayya bint Mohammad ( daughter of Prophet Muhammad) along with a few other Muslims decided to migrate to Abyssinia following the advice of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.). In 622 A.D. Hazrat Usman along with his with migrated to Madinah, thus he was one of those persons who performed Hijrat in the way of Allah, twice.

Hazrat Usman took part in all the important battles, Battle of Badr is an exception as the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) asked him to stay back for Ruqayya was in a critical condition. But when the war ended and our Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) went to meet her, he got to know that she had already died before the war ended.

After Ruqayya’s death, Usman (R.A.) married Umm-e- Kulsum, Prophet Muhammad’s (S.A.W.) other daughter. Hazrat Usman from then onwards was called ‘Dhun Nurain’  ie. Possessor of the two lights.

After the treaty of Hudaibiya Hazrat Usman earned the title of ‘Ghani’ for he spent his wealth freely in the service of Islam and the Muslims. In Madinah the Muslims faced the  scarcity of water, so Hazrat Usman bought a well from a Jew for 20,000 Dirhams and gifted it to the Muslims for their use. Pleased with this act Prophet  Muhammad (S.A.W.) gave him the tidings of paradise.

Hazrat Usman was regarded an authority on the Muslim Law of Inheritance. Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddique, the first Khalifah, and Hazrat Umar Farooq (R.A.) had a high regard for him, and often took his advice for a number of matters and problems of several Muslims, particularly in matters of Fiqh. He was one of the 6 men included in the panel, nominated by Hazrat Umar before his death for succession as Khalifa.

He succeeded  Hazrat Umar as the 3rd Khalifa of the Islamic State in 24 A.H. and remained in the office till 35 A.H. when he was assassinated at the age of 82 and was buried in Jannat Ul Baqi in Madina.

Hazrat Usman (R.A.) was an upright, dutiful and generous man. I feel that a single page of words cannot fulfill the works done by such great personalities, and cannot explain a man of such great abilities.

JazakAllah Khair

– Ain

Hazrat Muhammad (sallallau alyhiwasallam) ki kuch sunnate

Hazrat Muhammad (sallallau alyhiwasallam) ki kuch sunnate
=======================
1- Har Acche Kaam Se Pahle Bismillah Sharif Padhna.
2- Kapde Ya Joote Pahante time Pahle Sidhe Taraf Se Shuru Kare Or Utarte Waqt Ulte Taraf Se. Matlab agar joote pahan rahe ho to pahle sidhe per mein pahne phir ulte per mein aur utarte time pahle ulte per se utaare phir sidhe per se.
3- Salam Me Pahal Karna.
5- Raaste Me Chalte time Nigahe Nichi Karke Chalna.
Matlab kisi parai aurat ko na dekhna. ya kisi kharab cheez ka na dekhna.
6- Unchi Jagah Me Baith Kar Wazu Karna.
7- Miswaak Karna.
8- Surma Lagana.
9- Shahad (Honey) Khana.
10- Khane Se Pahle Or Khane Ke Baad Ek Chutki Namak Chakhna.
11- Paani Baith Kar Pina. pine se pahle bismillha padhna, 3 saans mein pina, pine ke baad "Alhamdulillah' kehna, sidhe haath se pina, sar dhaak kar pina, ye dekh kar pina ke kahi usme kachra to nahi.
12- Logo ko acche kaam karne ka hukm dena.
13- Tahajjud, Ishraq, Chasht, Awwabeen Ki Namaz Padhna.
14- Wuzu Ka Bacha Hua Paani aur Zamzam Ka Pani Khade Hokar
Peena.
15- Safaid kapde pahanna.
16- Khazur Ki Chhaal (skin) Waali Chatai (Mat) Par Sona.
17- Khire Me Namak Lagakar Khana.
18- Sabko Maaf Karke Sona.
19- Sone Ki Dua Padh Kar Sona.
20- Tahajjud Or Fajar Me Uthne Ki Niyat Karke Sona.
21. sabse muskura kar milna.
22. Khana beth kar khana.
23. Khana kisi cheez se tik kar na khana.
24. Bhook se kam khana.
25. Khushbu lagana.
26. Baalo ki maang naak ki seedh se nikalna.
27. Bahut zor se na hasna, kewal muskurana.
28. Kapde beth kar badalna.
29. Masjid aur ghar ke andar sidha per pahle rakhna aur nikalte time darwaze ke bahar pahle ulta per rakhna.
Aese time mein agar koi sunnato par amal kare jab koi sunnato par amal na karta ho to aese insan ko 1 sunnat par amal karne se 100 shaheedo ka sawab milega, aur 1 shaheed ka sawab ye hai ke uske khoond ki boond zameen par girne se pahle Allah uske gunaho ko maaf kar deta hai.
Allah hum sabko amal ki taufik ata kare aameen

Shadi ke baad pehli raat

Shaadi Ke Baad Pehli Raat
====================
Shadi karna sunnat hai aur islam ka ek hissa hai. Isliye har insan ko shadi karna chahiye. Bagher kisi jaiz wajah ke agar koi shaadi nahi kar raha ya der se kar raha hai to ye islam ke khilaf hai.

Jin logo ki shadi hone wali hoti hai, unme se bahut se logo ke dimaag mein kuch sawal hote hain ki islam ke hisab se shaadi ke baad ki pehli raat ko kya karna chahiye, ya iska sahi tarika kya hai.

Hum yaha pehli raat ki kuch baat karege, lekin ye baat sirf islam sikhne ki niyat se padhiye, dil mein kuch gandagi na rakhiyeaur na koi galat comment karna. Hamara maksad sirf un logo ko islam ka tarika batana hai jinko is baare mein maalumaat kam hai.

Shaadi ke baad jab ladka room mein jaaye to sabse pahle salam kare, kheriyat maalum kare aur thodi baat karne ke baad ladki ki peshani (forehead) ke baal sidhe haath ahista se pakadiye aur ye dua padhe. Hadees dekhiye, Hazrat Muhammad (sallallaho alayhi wasallam) ne irshad farmaya : jab koi shaks nikah kare aur pehli raat (suhag raat) ko apni dulhan ke paas jaye to narmi ke sath uski peshani ke thode se baal apne sidhe hath me le kar yah duwa padhe :'Allahumma in'ni as'a'luka min khai'riha wakhai'ri ma fiha wakhairi ma jabalta'ha alai wa a'udhu bika min shar'riha washar'ri ma fiha wa sharri ma jabalta'ha alai'
(tarjuma : ae Allah me tujse iski (apni biwi ki) bhalai aur khairo barkat mangta hu aur uski fitari aadato ki bhalai aur teri panah chahta hu iski burai aur fitari aadato ki burai se.
(Abu Dawood : jild-2,page-150, Hasne Hasin : page-164)
(Bukhari shareef, Jild 3, Safa 473)

Peshani ke baal pakad kar dua karne se pahle apni biwi ko ye bata sakte hain ki ye hamare aaqa Hazrat Muhammad (sallallahu alyhiwsallam) ka hukm hai, warna jis ladki ko nahi maalum ho wo kuch galat na sochne lage.

Iske baad agar wuzu na ho to wuzu kar lijiye aur 2 rakat namaz nafal, Allah ka shukr ada karne aur usse dua karne ke liye padhiye, Namaz is tarah padhiye (jamat bana kar) ki ladka aage imam ban kar khada ho aur ladki uske piche khade ho jaaye. Dono saath namaz padhe. namaz ki niyat : niyat ki maine 2 rakat namaz nafil shukrane ki waste Allah ta'ala ke rukh mera kaaba sharif ke taraf Allaho Akbar. fir humesha jaise namaz padhte ho waise hi namaz padhe Aur namaz ke baad Shaadi saath kheriyat se hone ke liye Allah ka shukr ada kijiye aur ye dua kariye ki Allah is shaadi ko kaamyab banaye, aage bhi hansi-khushi rakhe, bacche nek de, aur is tarah bhi duwa kar sakte hain "ae ALLAH tera shukra aur ehsan hai ki tune hume ye din dikhaya aur hume is khushi wa ne'amat se nawaza aur hume apne Habib sallallaho alayhi wasallam ki sunnat par amal karne ki taufiq ata farmayi. aye Allah humari is khushi ko humesha isi tarah kayam rakh. hume mel-milap pyar muhabbat ke sath zindagi gujarne ki taufiq ata farma. ae Rabbe Qadir hume nek farmabardar aulad ata farma. AAMIN, aur iske alawa jo bhi aap shaadi ki kaamyabi ke liye dua karna chahe kar sakte hain. Dua ke pahle aur aakhir mein darud sharif padh lijiye.

Namaz ke baad kisi bhi kaam mein jald-baazi na karen, balki ladki se is tarah baat kariye ki uski thodi jhijhak door ho jaaye. Thoda apne baare mein baat kariye thoda uski suniye. Jab ladki ki thodi jhijhak door ho jaaye to aur aap saath mein sone ka irada karen to usse pahle ye dua padh lijiye.
"Bismillah, Allahumma jannib nash Shaitana, wa Janni bish-Shaitana ma razaq tana (Tarjuma: "ALLAH ke naam se. Ae ALLAH door kar hamse shaitan mardud ko aur door kar shaitan mardud ko us Aulad se jo tu hame ata karega")
"Jo shaks is dua ko Sohbat ke waqt padhega (Dua wahi jo upar likhi hai) to ALLAH us padhne wale ko agar Aulad ata farmaye to us Aulad ko Shaitan kabhi bhi nuksan na pahuncha sakega"
(Bukhari shareef Jild 3,Safa 85, Tirmizi shareef,Jild 1,Safa 557)
Note : Ye yaad rakhiye ki jo peshani ke baal pakad kar dua karna hai wo sirf pehli raat mein hi padhna hai aur ek hi baar padhna hai, lekin ye waali dua ("Bismillah, Allahumma jannib nash Shaitana, wa Janni bish-Shaitana ma razaq tana) aapko hamesha padhna, jab bhi biwi ke saath sone ka irada ho usse pahle is dua ko padhna zaruri hai, chhoti si dua hai, 4-5 baar padhne se yaad ho jaayegi, agar is dua ko padhe bagher aap biwi ke saath sote hain to ho sakta hai ki shaitan/jinn bhi aapke saath-saath aapki biwi se sohbat kar le. Is dua ko padhne se Allah hifazat farmata hai.

Miya biwi ka saath mein sone ka sahi tarika ye hai ki dono ek dusre ke badan ko bila zarurat na dekhe, Hazrate Ayesha siddiqa farmati hai jiska mafhum hai ki "Hazrat Muhammad (sallallhau alyhiwasallam) ne na kabhi unke badan ko dekha na unhone".

Saath mein sote time bila zarurat baat na karen, aur jab saath mein soye to apne upar ek chadar daal len (yaani pura badan khula na rahe). Porn film ko dimaag se nikaal den kyonki wo veshya (prostitute) hoti hain aur ye aapki biwi hai, isliye sirf islami tarike ke hisab se hi saath mein soyen.
(1) Hazrat Muhammad (sallallahu alyhiwasallam) ne farmaya:
Pakhane ki jagah me Aurat se Sohbat (sex) karna haram hai
(2) Hazrat Muhammad (sallallahu alyhiwasallam) ne farmaya:
Jisne Aurat ya Mard se uske piche ke mukam se sohbat (sex) ki usne yakinan kufr kiya (Abu Dawood Shareef)
(3) Hazrat Muhammad (sallallahu alyhiwasallam) ne farmaya:
ALLAH Qayamat ke din aese shaks ki taraf nazre rehmat nahi farmayega. Jisne apni Aurat ke piche ke raaste se sohbat ki
(Bukhari shareef,Tirmizi shareef ,Ibne maja Shareeef)

Isliye biwi ke saath jaanwaro jesa kaam na karen, short mein mera matlab hai ki porn movies jesa kuch na karen. Balki sirf islami tarike se saath mein soiye.

Jab aurat ka mahina (haiz/maahvaari) ho us time uske saath let-beth sakte hain, kiss kar sakte hain lekin sex nahi kar sakte, jab tak ki wo ghusl karke paak na ho jaaye. Isi tarah roza ki haalat mein saath nahi so sakte, lekin peshani (forehead) par kiss kar sakte hain. roza kholne ke baad so sakte hain, Shaadi baad ladka-ladki ko ek dusre ki zarurato bhi samajhna chahiye ki hamara saathi kab kya chah raha hai.

Bahut se logo ko ye galat fahmi hoti hai ki agar shadi ke baad pehli raat mein miya biwi saath nahi soe to dusre din walima nahi ho sakta, Jabki aesa kuch bhi nahi hai, bagher saath soe bhi walima kiya ja sakta hai.

Ek aur zaruri baat ye thi ki ladka ho ya ladki koi bhi apne dost/saheli ko apni raat ki baat na batae, aksar dekhne mein aaya hai ki subah ladki ko uski saheli pakad leti hai aur ladke ko uske dost, aur wo unse raat ki baat puchte hain, lekin islam mein is baat ko bahut sakhti se mana kiya gaya hai ki koi apni personal baat apne dosto/saheli ko bataye aur ye ek gunah bhi hai. Is baat ka ek duniywai nuksan ye bhi hai ki agar koi dulha apne dost ko raat ki baat suna deta hai to phir baad mein uski bhabi jab bhi uske saamne aayegi usko dulha ki sunai hue baat yaad aa jaayei aur ho sakta hai wo imagine bhi karne lage. Isliye is burai se bachiye. Aur apni biwi ko khud beizzat na kariye. Ladki ko bhi apni saheliyo ko kuch baat nahi batana chahiye.

Ladka aur ladki ko is baat ki jaankari hona chahiye ki jab dono ek saath so lete hain to islam ki nazar se dono naa-paak ho jaate hain, naa-paak hone ke baad dono na namaz padh sakte hain na quran sharif ko haath laga sakte hain, isliye saath mein sone ke baad ghusl karna (nahana) zaruri hai, ghusl jitni jaldi kar lo utna accha hai. Ghusl sirf saade nahane ko nahi kahte balki ghusl ka ek khaas tarika hota hai. Ghusl sunnat tarike se bhi ho jaata hai aur agar sirf uske farz bhi pure kar liye to ghusl ho jaayega, Mujhe jo aasan tarika laga mein wo bata raha hu.
Sabse pahle dil mein niyat kar lijiye ki mein naa-paaki ko door karne ke liye ghusl kar raha hu (lafz muh se kehna zaruri nahi dil mein irada kar lena kaafi hai). Ab apne badan ki wo jagah dho lijiye jaha gandagi lagi hai, phir jese wuzu karte hain, pura wuzu kar lijiye, lekin ghusl ke wuzu mein garare karna zaruri hai (agar roza ho to garara na karen). Jab pura wuzu kar chuke to 3 baar sar par paani daaliye, phir 3 baar sidhe kaandhe par paani daaliye, phir 3 baar ulte kaahnde par paani daaliye, iske baad pure badan par paani bahaiye, aur phir pure badan ko haath se ragadiye, agar saabun (soap) laga rahe ho to yu bhi ragadna ho jaata hai isliye phir alag se ragadne ki zarurat nahi, ragadne ki wajah ye hai ki pure badan par paani fel jaaye, ek baal ke barabar bhi jagah sukhi na rahe, agar sukhi rah gai to ghusl complete na hoga. isliye har jagah paani pahuchane ki koshish kariye, apni baglo mein, baalo mein, pet ki naaf mein, taango ke beech mein piche ki taraf aur aage ki taraf, yaani sab jagah paani pahuch jaaye, ladkiya apne kaano ki baaliyo aur naak ki nath ko paani daal kar ghumaye taaki paani andar tak chala jaaye, agar anguthi pahani hain to anguthi ko aage piche kare. Jab ye yakeen ho jaaye ki paani sab jagah pahuch gaya aur koi bhi hissa sukha na raha to ab aapka ghusl ho gaya. aur aap paak ho gaye. Agar ladki ne nail-polish laga rakhi hai to uska naakhun se saaf karne ke baad hi ghusl kare kyonki nail-polish ki wajah se naakhun sukhe rah jaate hain isliye ghusl nahi ho paata. Agar ghusl ka jo tarika hai wesa ghusla na kiya gaya to insan agar pure samudra (dariya) ke paani se bhi naha le to paak nahi hoga.

(1) Islam ke hisab se, jab tak ladka-ladki ki shaadi na hue thi tab tak unka ek dusre ko pyar se dekhna, pyar se baat karna ye sab gunah tha, lekin jab unki shadi ho gai to ab in dono ka pyar se baat karna, saath mein acche se rahna, ek dusre ko pyar karna sab sawab ban jata hai.
(2) Jab miya biwi ek dusre ko pyar ki nazar se muskura kar dekhte hain to Allah dono ko muskura kar dekhta hai.
Allah insan se har pal ka hisab se lega, lekin kuch kaam aese hain jinke time ka hisab Allah nahi lega, usmein se ek miya-biwi ka saath bethna bhi hai.
(3) Agar kisi ladki se uska dulha naraz hokar so gaya to us ladki par farishte raat bhar laanat karte hain
(4) Ladke ko chahiye ki apni biwi ka hara tarah se dhyan rakhe, uski har sahi baat puri karne ki koshish kare. Usko khush rakhe.

Allah hum sabko sunnat tarike se har kaam karne ki taufik ata kare, Aameen.
Note: Jis kisi ko kuch confusion hai ya kuch aur zyada detail mein puchna chahta ha to wo mujse rabta kare ya comments kr k mujse sawal puch skta ha 

Is there a certain way of dressing that Islam orders?

Islam does not order a certain way of dressing and apparel. It does not force its followers to take a certain way of dressing. Because dressing may differ according to season and region. What is essential in dressing is the requirement of the climate that people have. However, something that Islam orders must not be forgotten. No matter what color, fashion and way dress might be, it must cover the private parts and must not be short or tight in a way to stimulate sexual desire.

Private parts are the whole body of women except hands and face. For men, private parts are in between the kneecap and the navel. All Muslims must keep these dressing codes in view and they must absolutely cover the private parts. Islam permits any kind of dressing that meets these criteria.

Author: Rana Asif

Wedding Night

A Brief Description of the Question: 

What should we do at the wedding night? What are the commands and advice of our religion about this topic?

The Answer: 

The wedding night/the bridal chamber: The night when the husband and wife who are married come together for the first time. The quality of this gathering is the disappearance of material and spiritual privacy and intimacy which is new to the woman and man. For the two persons who lived in different worlds before that night have come to the state of getting closer to each other and sharing the same life. And above that, they have started to 'actively live' certain rights and duties as a family.

It is necessary not to see the wedding night only as two opposite sexes knowing each other sexually. This unity is the start of a spiritual and emotional completion, at the same time. The lives of two young people who have attained maturity will last according to a certain measure and plan afterwards. For these reasons, the wedding night is the start of a life filled with utterly serious and hard responsibilities. To put it in a nutshell, it is the time when a decision of planning is taken. A couple will clearly explain what they think of one another in the life they will share and they will speak about what behaviors and actions they expect from one another.

Bridal chamber (wedding night) is an Islamic event. This is because the extraordinary situation that catches our attention in the event of bridal chamber is that the woman and the man come together under legal measures and that such a big event as marriage is thought about, discussed and finally realized.

In the event of bridal chamber, the couple who knew each other from a far before evaluate one another in a measured way in close contact and in a serious atmosphere. This is because, at the start of a new life with marriage, they are to be known with all their qualities. When the Islamic privacy is lost and when the woman and man come together with no measure and seriousness as is the case today, this cancels the necessity for the bridal chamber. For there is no privacy in this case, nor a serious reckoning about the future. The parties are either unaware of the fate awaiting them or only 'sexual satisfaction' prevails their coming together.

Therefore, sometimes in such illegal relationships, there are even those who do not see the need for marriage. Of course, such relationships end with grave pains and catastrophes.

The marriage in Islam is the arrangement of sexual feelings in the circle of a religious program and with the purest qualities of human love. Of course, this pure and clean unity will need such spiritual and bodily unity as the bridal chamber, of which others are oblivious.

Necessary Information about (first) Marriage:

Many fall into depression because of ignorance about sexual relation. For this reason, firstly, it is better to know well what jima (completion of intercourse) is. If not known properly and if done wrongly, unrest may increase in time and this may lead to the collapse of the family. Therefore, it is important to learn these pieces of intimate information correctly and to practice them accordingly.

After marriage, zifaf (wedding night) is one of the most important periods of marital life. Couples should pay attention to cleanliness as much as possible. Clean and beautiful clothes prove effective at the first night. The room of zifaf must be in a solitary and secure place. There is no drawback for the groom to benefit from the advice of a trustable bestman who has marriage experience. But it is also possible without bestman.

Certain points that couples should pay attention to at the first night:

First of all, couples should behave very sincerely, politely and tenderly toward each other and should view each other with love and compassion. The man should prepare his spouse psychologically for relation. He should give her confidence; he should explain to her that her preoccupations are groundless in a comely atmosphere by letting her speak, too. He should avoid any small action which would hurt his spouse, even a hint of it. He should know that his spouse is in much need of receiving love and compassion and of hearing compliments especially at that night.

The man should not be hasty and rude. Such a thought as “Now that we are married, I can approach her however I want.” is utterly mistaken. Jima is an act which happens during plays of love. Both parties should actively take part in the contact. In the same way, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) attracted attention to that point and asked men to comply with the rights of their wives, too. Sexual satisfaction is also a right of the woman.

The young lady should also share the excitement and love of her spouse and should submit herself to him naturally and willingly. She should think that jima is a duty of creation and she should remember the meaning and wisdoms of it and by trusting her love and qualities of creation, she should overcome groundless fears and preoccupations.

Couples may become tired and sleepless after the stressful and tense aura of the wedding. For this reason, generally they are not ready for jima. In this case, the first day of jima may be postponed. This does not have any drawbacks; on the contrary, it may have many advantages.

The first night is the time when curious excitements are experienced by couples-a happy, enjoyable and exciting time which was awaited for years and looked forward to, which embellished the dreams of the lady and the young man. The one who followed an illegal life is deprived of that feeling.

The groom should enter the chamber with a smile and with courtesy; he should salute the bride and should congratulate her. He should please her with morale-inspiring words and should try to appease her nervousness. And the bride should reciprocate him with warmth and should not show unnecessary sulkiness and shyness.

That night, supererogatory two part-prayer is performed and supplication to Allah is done. Prayers are performed to Allah as offering thanks to have reached these days and for the continuance of happiness in the coming days. Also, they should sit and talk for some time. Thus they try to contain excitement.

Every lady feels more or less shyness at this first night. She feels the bashfulness of being alone together with a man and of confiding in him. This state of hers is quite natural and should be welcomed.

The man should show a sincere intimacy without ever pressuring and forcing the lady and should try to lessen her timidity. Even if the girl feels shy to speak and to confide in him, the man should continue sincere talk and intimacy and enter her heart gradually. It is also enough for the lady to listen silently and to answer now and then with a short response.

The groom should approach with warmth and say pleasant words, compliment and congratulate his wife. Such behavior proves much helpful in decreasing the lady's excitement. The whole matter is to make the lady ready for jima by kissing and touching! It should not be forgotten that the first night is not an unchangeable measure. The first night is only a beginning. The first try may be unsuccessful; it should be accepted as normal.

The man who stays away from women because of his belief can most often ejaculate just by seeing a woman closely or by touching her. Without falling into hopelessness, after preparing for about half an hour, another try is taken. In the second state, as the first excitement is over and therefore ejaculation does not take place quickly, the initial preparation can be made more comfortably. This situation is of great importance. The couples who know this situation and prepare themselves accordingly will be untroubled. They will not fall into the apprehension of whether it was alright or not. For this is a natural situation. A couple of hours' rest can be taken or it can be delayed until the next day. In this case, the lady should also accept and tolerate the situation.

When the touch is successfully carried out, the man should share his feelings of happiness with his wife, should offer his thanks and should pray for the lifelong continuance of their happiness.

At the first night, if there is shyness and timidity in the lady, the man should welcome this state which is a natural result of the first meeting and should not show unnecessary haste and intolerance. Shyness, being hurt and disagreeableness caused by the rudeness at the first night may have a long lasting negative effect. Similarly, the reward of the patience and politeness at that night will be received afterwards.

Of course, it is a very important event for a young lady to be together with a man for the first time, to separate  from her family in which she found shelter for many years and to enter a new family life. At that time, she is in need of the man's wide wings of compassion and love. A woman does not ever forget the man whom she first meets. If the woman experienced pleasurable excitements at the first night, if she was shown love, patience, politeness and a broad understanding, she feels grateful to the man all her life. This first experience is an unforgettable memoir for the woman. Even if that man leaves the woman afterwards or lets her down, the mysterious memoir in her heart lives for ever.

The first night does not allow any rudeness; especially at that night, the man should be very polite.

There is an anecdote I want to quote: A woman weirdly lives with her husband for ten years; she engages in intercourse with her husband only once in a month and during that intercourse the woman behaves completely coldly. The thing is, at the first night, that man offended the woman. He said “How skinny and ugly you are!” The woman could not forget that. As is understood, the husband should avoid any words which may upset the woman such as “you are skinny; fat; too tall; short; old; ignorant; passive, etc.”

Preparation: Another important point at the first night is that preparation should not be in such a way as to put off the woman or scare her. To that end, one should be careful about taking off one's clothes. First of all, it is not appropriate for the groom to attempt to strip the bride himself. The bride and the groom should take off their clothes on their own. It is not appropriate to strip stark naked, either. In general, the bride feels horror and distress to be seen naked for the first time and to see the man naked.

In order to protect feelings of shame, during taking clothes off, that action should also be veiled. For that, either the lamps should be turned off, or a night-lamp with little light should be used. They should take into account the distress that would result from being seen with a stark naked body. This situation is also against good manners.

At the first night, some men both exhibit their bodies and strip the woman stark naked, which puts her in a distressing situation. That is extremely inappropriate.

During taking clothes off, one should not attempt to fully strip while standing, but should remove the heavy upper clothing. Underwear should be removed after lying beneath the quills.

The first touch: Love-play is important during intercourse. It should be polite and if the man's method to excite the woman is perfect, no matter how shy the woman may be, her trust in her husband starts to increase and she starts to be relieved. After that, her feeling of submissiveness grows and instead of inhibition, desire is aroused. What hurts and scares many brides is their husbands' rude and insensitive behavior. The groom should gradually prepare the bride who is for the time being in a state of inhibition, for the marriage life. He should search for the ways of how to arouse desire in the bride and should help her overcome her feelings of shyness. A normal woman may firstly behave shy in order to tempt her husband's desire. Actually, she likes to be conquered. But she never welcomes any rude attempt to break the resistance. For this reason, the groom should never neglect the points of politeness, patience, and delicacy. And the bride also should avoid behaviors which may handicap the success of her husband as much as possible, who is probably living the most exciting moments of his life.

Breaking of Virginity: This does not pose any hardships for ladies and young men with normal qualities. What is to be done is, to prepare opportunity for intercourse through love plays; and after the bride comes to that stage, in other words, when the slippery fluid which makes the intercourse easier is emitted, the intercourse is completed with a little pressure downwards. Even if such a slippery fluid is not emitted, it is still carried out easily. Applying some vaseline on genitals will make it easier.

In such cases as irritation or pain, it is better to allow an interval of 1 to 2 days. But this is not obligatory, either. If there is mutual desire, the next day or a couple of hours later intercourse may be performed. Extreme desire suppresses pain. There is no need for panic if the blood that comes with the tearing of the membrane does not stop. If the lady lies on her back, lifting her knee, contracting and bringing her legs close to each other, most often the bleeding stops by itself. It is also experienced, however rarely, that blood sttill continues to flow.

Indeed, on condition that both parties are well prepared for the intercourse both spiritually and bodily, that the man stimulates his wife successfully and that both reach a satisfactory level of sexual excitement, almost no pain is felt. Excessive excitement and excessive joy remove the feeling of pain. Wounds received in wars or fight are understood afterwards by seeing blood. In the mean time, spouses should help each other and especially the man should be very patient, understanding and compassionate. He should understand the timidity of the lady at the first night which is just natural because of the fear of pain, feelings of shame due to close intimacy with an until-then stranger and because of the transition from being a girl to being a woman.

After sincerely making himself familiar with her and after assuring her feelings of shyness, the man has the duty to pave the way for their uniting in a polite and soft manner. To conclude, he should be careful, patient and prudent during and after the first intercourse of the first night. If those conditions are not taken into account, the lady may feel pain from sexual relation rather than pleasure. It is natural that in the first intercourse the desired sexual pleasure may not be felt.

Hindrances of Intercourse

If the first night's intercourse is hindered by a serious obstacle, it is necessary to delay intercourse to the next days. For example, if the menstruation of the lady continues, there is the necessity to opt for delaying. In essence, the first night should be arranged in such a way that it is within the time period in which the lady is cleaned of menstruation. The intercourse may not necessarily be performed at the first night. If acted with patience and understanding, hardships and hindrances will be gone at other nights.

Some men may fall into temporary sexual impotence because of the excessive excitement that they experience at that night. If such a situation is experienced at the first night, it is necessary to delay trial a couple of hours or to delay it until the following nights. For this situation is a temporary failure; it is removed after a while with the breaking of excitement and handicaps. It may continue from a couple of hours to a couple of nights.

The Outstanding Hindrances of The First Night's Intercourse:

The lady's excessive shyness:

This situation may arise from some wrong ideas that the first night will be very troublesome, which is conceived for long by ladies, or it may arise from the impatient, impolite and hasty behaviors of the man caused by a rude show of “manhood”.

Worries of the Man:

That some men are worried that they may fail in the first night's intercourse, that they are anxious and agitated with those feelings, and that they are faced with early ejaculation during intercourse may cause a temporary failure.

Various Effects:

The pressure that the conventions in many places of waiting for the result of the first night pose on men's psychology, the unsuitable, noisy, and visible place of the bridal chamber, observance of an instantaneous unexpected and unpleasing state in the lady, the extreme levels of love, compassion, and regard felt toward the lady are among the causes of temporary impotency.

So, the one who fails sexually in the bridal chamber for such reasons should know that it is temporary and should delay the intercourse until next nights.

Normal Relations:

In sexual relations, the first stage should be well prepared. Abandoning that is rude on the part of the man, and cruelty on the part of the woman. For this reason, one should make appropriate use of the five senses.

Vision and Audition:

Before the relation, eyes should see legal things which stir up the feelings in question and they should not be distracted by such visions which may have bad effects on feelings. For example, if it is night time, it is appropriate if the room is dimly lit, if the light is put out or decreased such as with a night light. The most important of all, for man or woman whether with clothes or naked, no visions which may disturb eyes and which may cause more or less coldness should not be allowed and clothes which appeal to eye should be worn. A woman should adorn herself for her own husband, not for outsiders. Before relation, annoying words should not be heard, and no dispute or upsetting expressions should be allowed. At that time, cheering whispers, a mutual pleasurable conversation, some affectionate words are useful.

Smelling and Tasting:

In the beginning of the relation, such nice odors as musk and lavender are generally effective for pleasure-sensitive men. A woman who is aware of this fine point does not neglect perfuming herself with nice odors. It is also enough to clean the body and to remove foul smells. For the natural odor that spouses emit from their clean bodies is altogether effective in attracting each other. The most disturbing smells are mouth smell and intense smell of sweating. Therefore, the areas of armpits and groins which accumulate much sweat in body should be shaved once in a week and should be cleaned. Teeth should be brushed frequently and better be brushed with miswaq (a stick of wood from toothbrush tree; a practice of the Prophet). As smells of onion, garlic and cigarette are disturbing, relation in such a foul smelling atmosphere should be avoided. 

Touching and Caressing:

The most effective plays of love in preparation for intercourse are those of touching and caressing certain parts of the body. For that, spouses should be naked enough. Not leaving anything except for underwear in the upper part of the body, or even being naked in the bed according to the situation, provides ultimate joy from the relation. As in other points, the duty of touching and caressing is more upon the man than upon the woman.

Oral sex, woman's taking man's sexual organ into her mouth, which has become widespread among perverted people, is much abhorred religiously. It is also a bad action for man to kiss or lick the woman's sexual organ.

The Phase of Intercourse:

After the love plays that are performed for a long or a short time according to spouses' need, with the arousal of feelings of lust, a fluid called mazi is emitted in woman's genitals which make intercourse easier. If the woman is weak in sexual feeling at that time or if she is not excited enough, such a fluid is not seen.

Couples choose the style of intercourse that they desire.

The most important issue during intercourse is that the man should not make haste. It is an important duty for man to be patient. If the man acts only for his own pleasure not caring about the lady, he comes to the end of the pleasure in a couple of minutes. And this situation means abandoning the woman who is just aroused and leaving her in distress.

Therefore, with occasional intervals and with cautious actions, man should delay the state of ejaculation at the end and should try to ensure togetherness with the woman in this respect. The state of touch that continues till the state of orgasm, which is the exciting peak of pleasure, is thus continued as a calm and contented pleasure.

The Manners of Intercourse:

Although each lustful desire ends in darkening of the heart and distress, the intercourse performed in a religiously legal way causes relief in heart, and calmness and ease in spirit and body. The real wisdom in intercourse is the aim of continuing the generation and the pleasure in that is given as a Divine blessing to that end. Spouses who perform intercourse by complying with the appropriate manners also gain reward of worship with that. The intercourse performed under marriage is called jima; the one performed outside marriage is called zina (adultery).

It is a grave sin for woman not to accept the relation without a legal excuse. To make the semen flow out rather than inside the woman's sexual organ during ejaculation is permitted if it is done with the permission of the woman; and it is makrooh (abhorred) if done without her permission. If there is need, when the woman is in her period, too, ejaculation by benefiting from her body outside of the parts between her knees and the belly is permitted. According to another source, only the genitals are excepted for benefiting during that period.

One should intend to protect oneself from the illicit and to suffice with the permitted and should invoke Allah Most High during intercourse saying  “Bismillahi Allahumma jannibna-sh-shaytana wa jannibi-sh-shaytana ma razaktana”. If she becomes pregnant in that state, satan will not harm her.

Allah's Messenger, peace and blessings upon him, said: “Say Basmala (Bismillahirrahmanirrahim; In the name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate) in jima. Rewards will be written for you until you are cleansed of junub. If you beget a child in this jima, you will be given as many rewards as the breaths of this child and as the breaths of his/her lineage.”

The man should make love plays with the woman until lust and desire emerge in the woman. The benefits of that are the relief of the body and the perfection of the child to be born. He should not make haste. It is stated in hadiths (saying of the Prophet): “A man should not jump and dive like a cock while engaging in intercourse with his wife. Just as he himself is relieved, his wife should stay on her belly until she is relieved, too.” “If you are relieved before the woman is relieved, the rest of the day passes with laziness and sluggishness for the woman.” The woman who is in her period should put on old clothes in order to decrease her husband's desire.

It is a grave sin to engage in intercourse with the woman from her back (i.e. from her anus). In a hadith, it is stated: “The one who approaches his wife from her back is cursed.” One should take a nap after jima.

Step by Step First Night of Marriage in Urdu – What to Do ?(Shadi ki Pehli Raat in Urdu)

Shadi ki pehli raat

Step by Step First Night of Marriage in Urdu – What to Do ?(Shadi ki Pehli Raat in Urdu)

There are many misunderstandings about the first night of Marriage in our culture. The biggest misunderstanding about first night of marriage (shadi ki pehli raat) mubashrat (intercourse)  is considered most important otherwise “Valima” the groom’s treat will not be Halal.

First night of Marriage

I don’t know since when we have been following such ill manner traditions. The first night of Marriage is all about care and share. The groom shows his care to the bride and they promise to care each other and share joys and sarrows together.

Remember at First night of Marriage